I'm not saying I don't believe in love at all, because I do. I believe that one day I will meet someone who I will fall in love with inside and out, but I also know that it won't be the fairytale I always imagined as a kid. After living with divorced parents I learned that things don't work out for a reason. Like I mentioned in my last blog post, my parents are the complete opposites of each other and they definitely weren't meant to be. They both got remarried, but even now I'm noticing that marriage isn't just a cup of tea.
Is it bad to be scared of falling in love? Am I different for being afraid of marriage? I have a boyfriend at the moment, and he's great, but part of me knows that it's not going to last forever. I'm going to college in a few months, and I'll be 12 hours away from him. There's no way a long distance relationship can work between two college kids, no matter what anyone says. It's hard for me to not get too attached, and I'm sure the same goes for him. He only has one year left until he graduates college and then he's off to work as an engineer on ships all over the world. My thoughts on this is to just enjoy the time we have together before it's gone.
The wonderful thing about being 18 is that I still have my whole life ahead of me. I have time to find what I'm looking for, and I have all the time in the world to fall in love. I always tell myself not to worry now because my main goal to achieve within the next five years is to become a nurse and get a steady job. I truly believe that love will come to me when the time is right. I'm going to stop looking for it and let it find me, because I believe that if it's mean to be it will be. And everything happens for a reason.
You are defiantly right, there is no perfect solution, but there can be pretty good ones if you look for them.
ReplyDeleteI think love will come to you. I didn't know you had a boyfriend either. It really is a good thing that we have our while lives ahead of us still!
ReplyDeleteI totally thought I was in love with someone my sophomore year, and i was. I totally get your feeling of being scared to fall in love, I mean i love my boyfriend right now, but as far as being in love not really. You'll find yours some day, and hey who's to say you wont find a yankee from new york (;
ReplyDeleteLove conjures all, just remember that.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, so you are a bit of a romantic after all...I'm with Matt. I didn't know you had a beau. Hmm. You'll have to fill me in on this story sometime.
ReplyDeleteYou've got the right attitude Jas. You need to have a healthy fear of love because it is an immense, intense experience that will dazzle you and try you and leave you light-headed. I've fallen in love with Matty Mo, with my children, with my best friend, with my dog, with my favorite books, you get the picture. There's lots of ways to love out there and I hope you enjoy every one of them.
Excellent blog posts my friend.