Does True Love Really Exist?

Has anyone ever asked you if you believe in true love?  Well I know I've been asked that before and my answer has always been yes, but deep down I feel like true love doesn't exist, and fairytales don't exist either.  I've never been a very sappy kind of person, but I like to believe that everyone gets to live a happy ending, but they don't.  I'm only 18, but I have come to my senses that nobody can have a perfect relationship, and things don't work out for a reason.

I'm not saying I don't believe in love at all, because I do.  I believe that one day I will meet someone who I will fall in love with inside and out, but I also know that it won't be the fairytale I always imagined as a kid.  After living with divorced parents I learned that things don't work out for a reason.  Like I mentioned in my last blog post, my parents are the complete opposites of each other and they definitely weren't meant to be.  They both got remarried, but even now I'm noticing that marriage isn't just a cup of tea.

Is it bad to be scared of falling in love?  Am I different for being afraid of marriage?  I have a boyfriend at the moment, and he's great, but part of me knows that it's not going to last forever.  I'm going to college in a few months, and I'll be 12 hours away from him.  There's no way a long distance relationship can work between two college kids, no matter what anyone says.  It's hard for me to not get too attached, and I'm sure the same goes for him.  He only has one year left until he graduates college and then he's off to work as an engineer on ships all over the world.  My thoughts on this is to just enjoy the time we have together before it's gone.

The wonderful thing about being 18 is that I still have my whole life ahead of me.  I have time to find what I'm looking for, and I have all the time in the world to fall in love.  I always tell myself not to worry now because my main goal to achieve within the next five years is to become a nurse and get a steady job.  I truly believe that love will come to me when the time is right.  I'm going to stop looking for it and let it find me, because I believe that if it's mean to be it will be.  And everything happens for a reason.

A Bond Worth A Lifetime

Everyone has at least one person in their life whom they look up to and take trust in them in everything they do.  For me, this one person is my dad.  I'm not saying that I don't have other people in my life who I look up to, because I do and I thank them every day for everything they do for me, but my dad and I share a bond that nobody else shares with me.  We live five hours away from each other, which makes it harder, but it also makes our bond that much stronger.  I know that no matter what time of day it is I can call him and he will always answer.  I can cry to him for hours and he refuses to hangup until he knows I'm okay.

To go a little more in depth about our bond I'm going to start with the symbol on our hands.  If you take a look at your hand and fold it over, you will see two lines that make a crease.  My father and I are different.  When we fold our hands we only have one line that goes straight across.  When a baby is born one of the first things a doctor looks at is the baby's hand.  When he looked at mine he noticed my single line and immediately turned to my parents to see if one of them had the same line as me.  Fortunately, my dad had the line on his hand, and if he didn't it would have been a sign of down syndrome.  My whole life this line is the thing that has gotten me through some of the toughest times.

When I do get to see my dad we make the absolute best of the time we have together and we cherish every moment.  Every time I'm there at some point my dad will pull me to the side when we are alone and he will hold out his hand to me.  We put our hands up next to each other and place them line to line.  This single touch of the hand means more to me than anyone will ever understand.  I always remember that this touch won't last forever and one day my dad won't be here anymore.  Being able to share such emotional moments with him is something I will never forget until the day I die.  I couldn't ask for anyone else to share such a tight bond with me.

My dad and I are two of a kind.  We share the same thoughts and sometimes the same actions.  He knows exactly how to make me feel better even when I'm at my worst.  All he has to do is crack a chinese joke or two and it can turn my mood around faster than anyone else could.  One night when I was really stressed because of college crap he told me to get some rest and to stop my worries until the next day.  Well, the next morning I got a text from him at 7:11 in the morning and it said, "What do you call a fat chinese prostitute?  Chun-ki-ho.  Hope you have a better day today, xoxo dad."  It's the simple things like this that help me get through the hardest times, and I thank him every day for the love and support he gives me.